Navigating Inklings, Bias, Knowing, and Assumptions

Curiosity is often seen as a noble trait fueling innovation, learning, and empathy. But not all curiosity is created equal. There's a kind of curiosity that seeks confirmation, already tethered to a conclusion, subtly or overtly. And then there's objective curiosity, a more open, less ego-bound quality of wondering that is at once searching and surrendered. In coaching, leadership, and self-development, cultivating objective curiosity is essential. But it’s not simple. It exists in a complex terrain where inklings, bias, knowing, and assumptions all interweave.

Let’s explore what objective curiosity actually is, and how it can be both empowered and distorted by these internal forces.

What Is Objective Curiosity?

Objective curiosity is the ability to wonder about something without needing it to be a certain way. It’s the art of being interested in what is, rather than what you hope, fear, or expect to find. It’s an open-minded orientation toward discovery, where your identity isn’t wrapped up in being right, in control, or insightful.

Unlike reactive or agenda-driven curiosity, which wants answers that serve the ego or resolve discomfort, objective curiosity is content to dwell in uncertainty. It doesn’t grasp. It inquires. It listens, even internally.

When we embody this kind of curiosity, especially in roles like coach, leader, partner, or creative, we become powerful allies to truth. Truth that is emerging, unfolding, and not always convenient.

But we rarely meet the world without our filters. That’s where the interplay of inklings, bias, knowing, and assumptions gets interesting.

Inklings: The Intuitive Whisper

Inklings are those subtle inner nudges. An image, a phrase, a bodily sensation, a knowing that doesn’t announce itself with logic or certainty. They’re the initial stirrings of intuition. In coaching and other intuitive professions, inklings can feel like invitations to explore something the client hasn’t yet named.

Inklings can enrich objective curiosity. They invite us to pay attention beyond what’s being said or seen. But they also come with risk: we can mistake an inkling for a fact. The whisper of intuition must be held lightly. When treated as gospel, inklings can become a shortcut to projection.

The most masterful practitioners treat their inklings like guests, welcome but not in charge. They might share the inkling as a possibility, offering it with language like, “I’m noticing a sense… I wonder if…” They don’t weaponize it or wrap it in certainty. They let it breathe.

Objective curiosity uses inklings as a starting point for exploration, not a conclusion.

Bias: The Invisible Lens

Bias is unavoidable. It’s part of how our brains work, filtering the overwhelming stimuli of the world into manageable patterns based on past experience. But, bias often operates beneath awareness. It shapes what we look for, how we interpret it, and what we discard.

Bias distorts curiosity when we don't recognize it’s there. We might ask questions that confirm our worldview, interpret others through our own moral lens, or presume that we understand someone's story before they've told it. This is especially dangerous in relational or coaching contexts, where bias can masquerade as insight.

Objective curiosity demands that we pause and examine our lens. It’s not about eliminating bias (that’s not possible), but about recognizing it and loosening its grip. When we get curious about our own curiosity, Why am I drawn to this? Why am I avoiding that?, we take a vital step toward objectivity.

It’s humility that transforms bias into insight. The willingness to see that we are not neutral and to proceed anyway, more aware and more open.

Knowing: The Double-Edged Sword

We all accumulate knowledge - technical, emotional, experiential. And knowledge is valuable. But when it calcifies into certainty, it becomes a barrier to discovery. The more we think we know what something is, the less we are able to see what else it might be.

In coaching and leadership, the danger is especially acute. The moment we “know” what’s going on with someone, we stop listening. We hear selectively. We assume we understand.

Objective curiosity recognizes the difference between knowing and awareness. It’s not anti-knowledge, but it holds knowing with elasticity. It might ask, What else could be true here? What might I not be seeing? It acknowledges the gift of experience but refuses to let that gift blind us to the present moment’s uniqueness.

This is the paradox: true expertise often leads back to humility. The more we understand human complexity, the less likely we are to draw quick conclusions.

Assumptions: The Silent Saboteurs

Assumptions are the stories we tell ourselves without knowing we’re telling them. They might be about people (She must be resistant), situations (This won’t work), or ourselves (I have to fix this). These assumptions aren’t always negative. They can also be overly optimistic or romanticized. But either way, they operate like mental shortcuts, collapsing complexity into premature meaning.

Assumptions are the greatest enemy of objective curiosity. They don’t just obscure what’s real -they replace it.

The trick is that assumptions are hard to see. That’s why reflective practice is critical. In coaching, we use tools like supervision, journaling, and feedback to illuminate the assumptions we’re carrying. In personal development, it helps to ask questions like:

• What am I presuming here?
• What if that wasn’t true?
• How would I show up if I didn’t need to be right?

When assumptions are made conscious, they lose their grip. We can start to explore rather than conclude. And that re-opens the door to genuine curiosity.

Practicing Objective Curiosity

So how do we move toward this more liberated form of curiosity?

1. Create space to notice. Slowness invites awareness. It lets you notice your inklings, biases, assumptions, and tendencies to prematurely "know."
2. Separate data from interpretation. What actually happened? What did they actually say? What am I making it mean?
3. Name your filters. If you feel triggered, certain, or invested in being right, ask yourself, What story am I bringing into this moment?
4. Practice non-attachment. Especially in inquiry. Offer reflections or questions without needing them to land or be right.
5. Use language that opens. Instead of “You seem angry,” try “I’m noticing some energy. What’s happening for you?”
6. Stay humble. Curiosity flourishes in the soil of humility. If you’re too sure, it’s a sign to pause.

The Invitation

Objective curiosity is not a technique. It’s a way of being. It asks us to meet each moment, each person, even ourselves, with a kind of sacred neutrality. Not detached, but unentangled. Not passive, but surrendered.

And while we may never be perfectly objective, the aspiration itself can refine us. It teaches us to hold our inklings loosely, see our bias clearly, question our knowing humbly, and name our assumptions bravely.

In a world so hungry for clarity and connection, the most radical thing we can sometimes do is simply not know and stay curious anyway.

by Amy Ruppert Donovan, MCC